I converted to Judaism during my marriage to a Jewish guy who wanted me to convert to being a lesbian after he decided to "live full time as a woman." I told him one conversion was enough, and no, I'm not going to start hanging around with the non-Zionist Jews he also started up with. Before that, when our two sons were born, I was really into it, so they were named very Jewishly after their great grandfathers. This was the early 1990s. I did not give a thought to whether these classic Yiddish names would later make them targets. I thought that was all over. I don't know how they feel about it now, because woke world told them not to speak to anyone who says their father is their father. And I decided to stop making my brain into gefilte fish by coercing my own speech. His sister became ultra Orthodox and lives in Jerusalem. She goes by Rivke now, whereas I knew her as Robin. My Hebrew name is Esther Leah bat Avraham v'Sarah. Cori, you have a gute neshamah.
I have so much respect and admiration for you. I appreciate all that you do. Thank you for your courage to write and talk about challenging topics that too many people are scared to discuss.
A noble name! The great Canadian songwriter Leonard Cohen also wore a derivation of it proudly. The name may sometimes be a target, but it is also a shield.
My grandfather fled tsarist Russia as a child, bringing with him the name of a long line of rabbis, only to have the name summarily changed by an anonymous American official. My father was never religious and did not pass any traditions down to us kids (aside from Jewish jokes). So I do not carry a Jewish name or know much about the religion. And yet I feel an unshakable bond with Jews and Israel.
By contrast my husband, who carries the name of his distinguished rabbi grandfather, and who also had a Jewish mother, denies being Jewish and feels no special affinity with Israel or Jews.
Which just goes to show that there are many ways to feel Jewish—or not. Sadly, history has shown that it's the antisemites who get to decide who is or isn't Jewish.
I was raised by a Jewish mother and a Jew-hating father. My mother was "required" to keep her Jewishness secret from everyone. I only ever realized it when they would fight, and he would scream that she was a "filthy, disgusting Jew." No traditions were passed down to me. I didn't realize that I was Jewish until I spent a summer with my aunt, who explained that it was passed through the maternal line. I was thrilled to learn that I was SOMETHING! It wasn't until my parents got divorced that my mother reverted to Judaism and pretended it had never been any other way. Now we celebrate Jewish holidays. Passover is my favorite. But I really wish I had grown up with these traditions, learned Hebrew, and maybe had a Bat Mitzvah. I do feel deprived.
The anti-semitism in the US today, especially on college campuses, is revolting and terrifying.
This piece feels to me like a portal to a book-length memoir.
I felt a fresh infusion of fury on behalf of your father and mother and of all fathers and mothers whose posterity has been disfigured or ended by transmania.
That wasn't where you were going with the piece, of course. But it is how at least one reader came to notice the portal.
You are living Hillel’a edict in all that you do to light the way for others. May you be blessed in all your endeavors. PS it’s never too late to undertake a process of Jewish learning to recoup what you missed out on, if you are interested.
You favor your dashing father a fair bit!
You are a renaissance human.
Thank you for this powerful essay.
It’s true.
You are a Renaissance human and you are loved and respected by so many of us out here.
I converted to Judaism during my marriage to a Jewish guy who wanted me to convert to being a lesbian after he decided to "live full time as a woman." I told him one conversion was enough, and no, I'm not going to start hanging around with the non-Zionist Jews he also started up with. Before that, when our two sons were born, I was really into it, so they were named very Jewishly after their great grandfathers. This was the early 1990s. I did not give a thought to whether these classic Yiddish names would later make them targets. I thought that was all over. I don't know how they feel about it now, because woke world told them not to speak to anyone who says their father is their father. And I decided to stop making my brain into gefilte fish by coercing my own speech. His sister became ultra Orthodox and lives in Jerusalem. She goes by Rivke now, whereas I knew her as Robin. My Hebrew name is Esther Leah bat Avraham v'Sarah. Cori, you have a gute neshamah.
I have so much respect and admiration for you. I appreciate all that you do. Thank you for your courage to write and talk about challenging topics that too many people are scared to discuss.
A noble name! The great Canadian songwriter Leonard Cohen also wore a derivation of it proudly. The name may sometimes be a target, but it is also a shield.
God bless you and your family.
My great-grandparents were Lemkos from Galicia who immigrated here around the same time as your grandparents.
Can definitely see a family resemblance looking at that photo of your father, especially the eyes and the expression.
Yes, I see the family resemblance too. Compare Reuben above to Cori in this picture Nina Paley took of him: https://blog.ninapaley.com/wp-content/uploads/Corinna-author-photo.jpeg The similarity comes across especially well in that one, I think.
Beautifully said. Xoxo
My grandfather fled tsarist Russia as a child, bringing with him the name of a long line of rabbis, only to have the name summarily changed by an anonymous American official. My father was never religious and did not pass any traditions down to us kids (aside from Jewish jokes). So I do not carry a Jewish name or know much about the religion. And yet I feel an unshakable bond with Jews and Israel.
By contrast my husband, who carries the name of his distinguished rabbi grandfather, and who also had a Jewish mother, denies being Jewish and feels no special affinity with Israel or Jews.
Which just goes to show that there are many ways to feel Jewish—or not. Sadly, history has shown that it's the antisemites who get to decide who is or isn't Jewish.
Thank you for this beautiful writing Cori, son of Reuben. Your dad has so many reasons to be proud of you.
I look forward to more I am Cori, a man.
Another heartfelt piece that makes me think more deeply. Thank you.
I was raised by a Jewish mother and a Jew-hating father. My mother was "required" to keep her Jewishness secret from everyone. I only ever realized it when they would fight, and he would scream that she was a "filthy, disgusting Jew." No traditions were passed down to me. I didn't realize that I was Jewish until I spent a summer with my aunt, who explained that it was passed through the maternal line. I was thrilled to learn that I was SOMETHING! It wasn't until my parents got divorced that my mother reverted to Judaism and pretended it had never been any other way. Now we celebrate Jewish holidays. Passover is my favorite. But I really wish I had grown up with these traditions, learned Hebrew, and maybe had a Bat Mitzvah. I do feel deprived.
The anti-semitism in the US today, especially on college campuses, is revolting and terrifying.
This piece feels to me like a portal to a book-length memoir.
I felt a fresh infusion of fury on behalf of your father and mother and of all fathers and mothers whose posterity has been disfigured or ended by transmania.
That wasn't where you were going with the piece, of course. But it is how at least one reader came to notice the portal.
You are living Hillel’a edict in all that you do to light the way for others. May you be blessed in all your endeavors. PS it’s never too late to undertake a process of Jewish learning to recoup what you missed out on, if you are interested.